backlog, monday, feb 26

Monday, 2.26.07
Sarah left about thirty minutes ago, following a really wonderful discussion on religion, or faith, as she prefers to phrase it. I myself have never been one for organized, structured, or for any other form of religion, although I generally consider myself Jewish.

Our talk tonight made me begin to question some of the basic tenants of the religion I assume identity with, and what exactly about “religion” I do and do not understand or have much personal interest in – I’ve always phrased that god is everything good, and that my personal doctrine for living involves doing the right thing, giving myself to others (in a productive sense), and of aspiring for greater good. Sarah’s faith in god is both surprising and refreshing. I’ve never known a religious person that could speak about their relationship with God in a way that I could look at realistically, and not have a way to mock or find silly.

Maybe I’ve never given religious people enough credit, or maybe “they” have never been as articulate, thoughtful, or realistic/meaningful as Sarah’s explanations. But for the first time I’ve begun to wonder if faith is a path I could ever choose to follow. If there is God, and God is everything, then why I have I not recognized it so far along?

I still don’t understand where Jesus falls along the spectrum, or any of the other areas (like gospels, saints, disciples, etc). and I’m certainly not planning on converting to Christianity. I’ll maintain that organized religion is dangerous, but I would like to learn more about the faithful and how they are able to explain their beliefs. I think that it could only be beneficial to my worldly views, especially considering the difficulty I have here explaining the relationship with God that I don’t have.

Today was a monumental day in other regards as well. It was the first day on the ground – I attended a workshop/training on policy analysis. While I was expecting to gain hard skills that would help me look more critically at issues of critical importance, I learned that it is hard to take steps back in terms of leading others on their path.

I somewhat feel I did a disservice to the community partners and stakeholders in our workshop today. My natural leadership tendencies took hold and I began organizing and guiding our discussions, on issues that I really had little business doing such, except for the fact that the workshop participants were not stepping up to the proverbial plate to actually lead a discussion themselves…